In-Person Moments:
How to Make the Best of On-sites When Off-site/Remote is the Norm
At InVision, one of the largest fully-distributed companies in the world, we have an ongoing challenge of how to get the biggest impact from the rare occasions when groups of us gather in person.
There is a natural inclination to gather people together for “rhythm of the business” moments: quarterly business reviews, planning sessions, etc. Clark Valberg, InVision’s CEO, noted to me some time ago that if we could not figure out how to do these things while remote, then remote would simply not realize its potential. In effect, if we could not operate the business as distributed management teams, we would never be successful in the distributed model.
So if not for business operations, is there a case for “in real life” meetings? (“IRL” as we acronym it at InVision)
I believe the opportunity that physical togetherness provides is fundamentally about connection and relationship. Despite all the mediating technologies that allow us to work at-a-distance, we are still bodies, in addition to being minds. There remains something irreplaceable about hearing the laugh of a colleague resonate against the walls of a room, or being able to shake hands, give and get a hug, and share meals together.
A month ago, I had the opportunity to bring my senior team of leaders in the People function together in Austin, Texas, for 24 hours. Two of us live in Austin, and one of the team members was already here for a meeting with other business leaders at the company. While not quite as a convenient as asking everyone out for a coffee or drinks after work at a brick-and-mortar company, it was a serendipitous seizing of a work opportunity.
We spent a morning catching up with each other and talking about key projects and programs for the quarter. We also just co-worked in proximity — all in a WeWork room. Then, we went out to dinner and laughed and talked some more. We had an agenda for the time together, and worked through a number of crucial topics related to the team. The most critical dimension of the time, however, was how we approached working as opposed to what we worked on.
As a team, we have focused for well over a year on increasing levels of interpersonal openness. There is still work to do — there will always be work to do. The progress can be slow at times in helping team members be comfortable enough with each other to let guards down and speak from places of authenticity and honesty. As Patrick Lencioni persuasively argues in his book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team a team cannot truly perform at its best unless it builds a foundational level of trust.
Similarly, applied research by Google on team dynamics confirmed prior studies by Harvard professor Amy Edmondson on what fosters deep team connections, creativity and collaboration. If team members feel safe to express themselves authentically, take risks, and make mistakes, the team develops the resiliency to perform at peak as a unit.
Authentic and vulnerable self-expression creates the space for true interpersonal intimacy. Intimacy fosters trust. Trust allows teams and individuals to explore tough topics honestly and without holding back.
It is a virtuous circle of dialog— if we express our truths about our own emotional states, our hopes, our dreams as people on shared journeys, we will also feel willing to talk about business realities as colleagues and peers without politics. We will not fear well-meaning and developmental critique, and teammates will not distort realities to protect ego.
In contrast, if we do not personally feel we can take risks in what we say, the group will be unable to build the ability to be honest with itself. Not only does this lead to a team not facing tough business or operational realities, but erodes psychological safety. Over time, the inability for a team to speak honestly — among team members and to/about itself — leads to real business risks … sometimes, famously, with disastrous consequences.
Psychological safety has become a critical concept for teams and organizations since Edmondson introduced it. However, there is often skepticism about how to truly foster it in demanding work environments. It can seem to conflict with other notions such as “radical candor”, where the interest is ensuring that people challenge each other directly and openly. As Edmondson herself notes, psychological safety does not demand that people feel affirmed all the time in their viewpoints nor are free from challenge. Quite the opposite. In a team environment where psychological safety is present, I know I am required to challenge my teammates’ ideas and points-of-view while still caring about them as persons. Teammates in such environments know that everyone is striving toward excellence and the needs of the ego can be left at the door. We can disagree— passionately, even — but openly, and constructively since our relationship is built on care and interpersonal intimacy. Such is the basis of truly compassionate and radical candor (“candor with compassion” happens to be an InVision principle).
When InVision gathered together all 800+ team members from around the world last February for an annual IRL meeting, the first and foremost theme of the event was connection. We also aimed to align, and excite the company as our fiscal year began, but the goal of connection was primary. We programmed and designed the event for connection at all levels — to the company’s mission, between departments and teams, and ultimately interpersonally.
It’s not easy to design an event for almost 1,000 people that fosters relationship-building and connection. Each time InVision experiments with “in real life” meetings, we iterate on how to achieve deep personal connection at scale. We still have a long, long way to go but we approach the events striving to be people first, before roles and titles. When we are able to show up and simply be with each other, celebrating being a community of humans, bonded by work relationships, but fundamentally just people working together the best we can, we allow the space for authenticity.
Solid work relationships are built on solid human relationships. Teammates do not have to be friends outside of work, but why not try to be friendly at work? We have to guard against hiring people that we “like”, since we tend to like people similar to ourselves. Teammates that all think the same way and believe the same things do not produce truly great things. Teammates — and communities, nations, etc. — that meaningfully care about each other despite such differences unleash profound human collective potential.
“In-person” is not simply about where people meet — i.e., in real-life, unmediated by technology. We need to remind ourselves of the person part of “in-person”. I am here, with you. In-person means gathering together as people — as human beings trying to be better together as people, first, and as a business second. If we approach in-person events as celebrations of communities, we will ensure that the time is spent deepening relationships, connecting, and strengthening shared culture.
Mark Frein — Striving to work personally, IRL or remote.
